A beginning or an end?

When we were three or four, our parents always nudged us, regarding what we wanted to become when we grew up...

Our adorably cute answers of course ranged from the President of USA, to the Astronaut probably sitting on the moon right then, or well in my case, a Tooth Fairy with a magic wand....

When we were nine or probably ten, they asked us again...

And surprisingly our answers changed to a wide extent!

Now we wanted to become a rock star, a cowboy, a model or well in my case a Teacher...

And now that we have grown up, the question strangely still remains the same. But this time everyone is search of a serious answer...

Well how about this - "Who the hell knows?"

I learned from someone, that this isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions of life. Rather its the time to make as many mistakes as possible!

Catching the wrong train, reaching the entirely wrong destination and getting stuck there for hours and hours..

Falling in love - as much as anyone can even imagine..

Doing a Major in Philosophy 'cause there is no way to make a career out of that!

Changing your mind, 10,000 times a day,

And then changing it again..

And then changing it bloody once again!

Because nothing on this planet is permanent. Nothing at all!

So lets make as many mistakes as possible, so that, someday in the future, when they again ask us the same question, then we wont have to shoot anything in the darkness by making guesses but till then probably we'll know the answer!

A rose is a rose is a rose...

I saw a very rosy dream,

in which a red rose tells me;

"You are a rose, I believe,

then why don't you justify your rosy name for me?"

Sitting on a huge bed full of roses,

White, red, yellow, orange, pink and even multi colour roses!

I wondered how to justify the rosiness of my name,

How to solve, this rosy little game?

"Lets write a poem which is full of roses,

where each and every sentence simply smells of roses."

Seeing the red rose raise a brow,

I quickly got back to my rosy little work!

Rose is one of the most beautiful flowers on Earth,

What a rosy fragrance resides in it since its very birth!

With a realization that a rose is a rose is a rose,

what more could I have said about a rose?

A red rose whispers passion of love,

A white rose bathes peace of dove,

A yellow love symbolizes friendship and concern,

However, A black rose is not likely to return.

Glancing through my rosy little poem,

I realized that it was such a rosy way to fight away boredom!

And I am sure that if this poem reaches the press,

I would bow down gracefully, with cheeks full of rosiness!

Lovely Bubbly Mausam...

So this lovely bubbly weather finally gives me an opportunity to pen down my thoughts and finally, yes finally the writer's block comes to its very end!

As,

The wind is blowing so strong,

The blackish clouds hint the wrong,

Little tiny droplets of water fall above,

Just like a touch of dove! :)

So many days have gone by,

I deeply wish that I could write some lullaby,

Life is twisting here and there,

In the world of what, when, who and where...

Sometimes I keep talking to myself,

Sometimes I try and focus on self,

In a world which proves to be of no one,

Its a fight of all, but victory of JUST one!

I am not getting any other word,

Probably my mother is ready to feed me some curd,

Life is amusing yet life is weird,

The weather just made me cry out "cheer"!

Listen to colors - they will guide you!

Listen to colors,

They will guide you...

When all you see are old sheets of paper,
Autumn leaves and bubbly bees,
Butter cups or the sun rising up,
Lemons or some yummy curry;
All you can see is yellow
Need to have a warm heart - smile at the situation
And all your problems shall leave you. Immediately.

Listen to colors,

They will guide you...

When all you see is money,
Loads of trees or piles of peas,
Grass or grapes, threads and drapes
Tea gardens in monsoon rains;
Then all you see is green
People are getting jealous all around, for sure – no worries, though!
You are safe, for green stands for safety and protection
The protection of the earth – the greatest of all.

Listen to colors,

They will guide you...

If the sky is giving the necessary hints,
Signals of oceans or navy soldiers,
Be it the cold moon, or the dancers’ tune,
Or even copper sulphate in the science lab-
All you then see is blue
Then probably you are the stablest person
Your emotions, though, might not be in the same condition...
But since blue represents depth, deep down you know
That someday things will automatically turn out to be good

Listen to colors,

They will guide you...

When all you hear are Christmas carols,
Hand full of rice - some naughty mice,
Milk all around or silk deep down,
Or maybe the falling snow,
All you then see is white
Just be cool, calm and composed!
And problems shall leave you in a state of complete pure

Listen to colors,

They will guide you...

When you see danger signs,
Cut your thumb- spill blood,
Infinite roses - sleepy glasses of wine,
Chillies or the famous Red Riding Hood,
All you then hear is red
A little worrying-a little difficult to handle,
But love shall reach out soon, to take your heart away from you
Show the passion-and sweep you off your feet

Listen to colors,

They will guide you...

When the food in your fridge starts rotting,
Your friends are found plotting,
The witches are out with their allied magic,
And life is nothing but tragic!
All you then hear is black
There might be an absence of light for some time,
but never forget, a dark evening is always followed by a dusky dawn
The broken pieces of the mirror will come together, just wait for a little bit of time

So whats your color telling you?

I hope that you will find your way out soon :)

In this struggle...

In this struggle of existing, being, surviving

I have lost my roots,

My desire, my wishes,

Myself, all are forgotten.

I turned around to trace back my path

But, alas, the winds of the time have blown away my footprints.

Sighing, I moved ahead...

Trying to recall who I was, but, to no avail.

My friends are not there

To remind me

Who I am.

I lost them somewhere along the way

And, now, I negotiate,

Alone,

Through the thick and thin,

Without purpose, without aim,

I struggle my way through...

..A child lives inside me..

Some deem me to be sweet,

Some feel that I am kind,

Others may feel that I am nobody,

Let me confess, I don’t know myself…

Of all I know and what I feel

Is that a child lives inside me.

A child who likes to play all day,

A child who wants to make your day.

A child who likes to run after butterflies,

A child who likes to buzz just like a bee.

Of all I know and what I feel

Is that a child lives inside me.

A child who likes to sing to you,

A child who likes to look at you.

A child wants to be a part of your happiness,

A child who wants to rip away your sadness.

Of all I know and what I feel

Is that a child lives inside me.

A child who likes to dream all day long,

A child who likes to pray to God.

A child who wants to shine like a star,

As bright as sunshine could ever be.

Of all I know and what I feel

Is that a child lives inside me.

A child who wants nothing from you in return,

Except a warm bridge of love and shelter.

A child who expects nothing from you,

Except your words of guidance and support.

Of all I know and what I feel

Is that a child lives inside me.

A child who wants to have a nice bath every day,

A child who just wants a cozy bed to lay.

A child who likes to look at the sky above,

A child who likes to make castles in the mud.

Of all I know and what I feel

Is that a child lives inside me.

A child who wants to learn all the alphabets again,

A for apple, B for ball, C for cat and D for doll.

A child who likes to stare at the sparrows,

A child who likes to play with the doves.

Of all I know and what I feel

Is that a child lives inside me.

A child who likes to swing just like a daffodil,

A child who likes to collect white daisies and yellow buttercups.

A child who likes lying on the green grass,

A child who likes the smell of wet land.

Of all I know and what I feel

Is that a child lives inside me.

A child who likes to think, think and just think.

A child who likes to observe how the eyes blink.

A child who knows probably, nothing at all,

Except that life is much more beautiful than what we think.

Of all I know and what I feel

Is that a child REALLY lives inside me...

Kuch Ankaheen Baatein...

Yaad hain wo din?

Jab hum the kitney pass

Sadaa dost rehney ki

Thi humaari aas.

Saath ghumein, saath kheley,

Aur kitni maari gappey

Pata nahi kitni this sach

Aur kitni thi bas lappey...

Wo sunherey pal aur

Who sunheri baatein,

Dekho bhool na jaana tum

Yeh sunheri yaadein.

Hassi, mazaak, baatein

Baney jeeven key usool,

Maaf kar dena mujhey,

Hui ho agar koi bhool.

Prarn liya tha jab humnein,

Aankhon sey paani gaya jhalak,

Saath rahengey hum sada hi,

Chaahey rahein ho jaaye alag.

Samay ney humko murdkar na dekha,

Aur aagey chalta gaya,

Ek chauraahey par khadey hain hum,

Jahaan sey saara jahaan lagey naya.

Akeley ho tum, Akeley hain hum,

Saamney ek naya jahaan,

Par yaad rakhungi mei tumhein,

Chaahey mai jaun jahaan.

P.S. I scribbled this poem in one of my diaries when I was in class 6th. While cleaning my desk last week, I found a shabby, torn sheet of paper which refreshed certain nostalgic memories buried deep down in the past. Time really passes by so fast, yet each moment has its own very importance in one's life. Its funny how we give such special positions to people who don't even look behind at us, not even once..................

...Silver Beads...

They want to uproar with a message was what I thought,
When I glared at the mystic and dark outline of her eyes-
I should have realized that it was going to be really tough,
But once we're in the maze, all we want to do is get out.

She seemed to be lost in some random melody,
Probably whispering the lyrics of her favorite song,
Clutching something really tightly in her right hand,
And moving like a breeze in an unknown direction.

As she moved further, she slowly uncurled the fingers of her hand,
I stared at it for long, and noticed some tiny silver beads.
One after the other, she started dropping them cautiously on the mud,
It reminded me of that fairy tale where dropped pebbles lead to a happy ending.

But I kept on wondering, those
Beads were as small as the tip of a needle
Too small to even notice - but maybe enough
For the one who may come after them one day, I concluded.

After dropping all possible hints,
She finally sat down on the damp pavement
Deep in a reverie, she suddenly smiled
For once - what a killer smile it was.

As my heart started connecting with hers,
It seemed to give me a sweet yet sour feeling;
On one end, she inspired me somewhere deep down,
And on the other, she confused me further by not being open.

As I tried approaching her, slowly and calmly
She got up and hastened towards a safer place
“I won’t harm you”, I cried loudly
But one.two.three, she just simply vanished.

As I tried to move further,
I banged my head against something hard,
I should have realized that I was just
Standing in front of my room’s mirror.

Questions are endless...

Little drops of water make the mighty ocean ! Really ?

Why everything apparently ends up as a mere illusion?

Is the sun giving a hint of the approaching darkness through its setting down ?

Are the ripples in the water widening with the passage of time ?

who knows !

Questions are endless but answers are nowhere...

..The serenity of the moonlight..

In my previous post I was talking about one of the most common natural phenomenon that takes place on earth i.e. “The Rain”. Digging out more of such natural phenomenons’, let us now extend our talks to the moon and its tranquil light…
This time again, I was sitting beside the door of my balcony and me eyes popped up right into the sky. Cloudy atmosphere, dusky background, hazy scenario…and then finally, the moon came into my sight. At a snail's pace it carefully shifted from its present position to another one. Shiny brightly, I then realized that it was a full moon. The magic of the tranquility could now be easily observed. One again my mind started playing its ‘weird games’ with me…
We are all aware of the fact that moon doesn’t have its own light but reflects the light of the sun. Also, it keeps on changing its shape and size from time to time. Doesn’t this arrangement play a very significant role in our lifestyles as well? And I must say that this question was just the beginning……
Love, friendship, let’s take any other relationship for that matter; aren’t they all showcasing each other’s light in their own respective lives? Isn’t it that, that the person is incomplete without the other person’s light yet has never acknowledged this fact? And isn’t it that an ideal example of how one has to coincide with his/her lover in order to leave a deep-casting impression on the world?
MOONLIGHT TALK 1: Start acknowledging the fact that your life is beautiful not because of your own efforts but because of somebody else’s. The sooner you acknowledge it, the better it is for you.
There’s another aspect about this “whole moonlight talk”. Every single day the moon is in a different shape (it may not be that substantially visible/acknowledged by the viewers everyday though) depending upon its own and the earth’s position. Just like that we may have various low phrases in our relationships, in our lives due to various external factors which may/may not be visible to our lovers/friends/parents etc but they somewhere down the line do affect our mental/emotional state. But that doesn’t stop the moon from once again increasing its shape and light the following day. Then why shall it affect us even for a moment or two? What’s the point of first falling down and then rising up when we can rise up anyway?
MOONLIGHT TALK 2: Stop cribbing about the fact that your lover/best-test-test friend didn’t came to know that you were low some day. If something is really bothering the core of yours, then go and share it. Simple. No matter how low you are today, one has to rise above the normal strata of emotions to once again illuminate the world tomorrow. Right? Am I making enough sense?
Lastly, the moon shines. Right? Umm, for whom does it take that much of pain to come out every night, stay there for the whole night, move in the morning to a different location, to once again illuminate the other side of the earth?
Maybe:
For those small children who don’t even know what moon is?
For those youngsters who are busying talking to their recently made boyfriends/girlfriends and are unaware that its 2.30 A.M.
For those working force that is busying yawning and once again re-reciting that “It was a tiring day today”.
MOONLIGHT TALK 3: Guys is high time one should realize that one is here on this earth for a motive. If god has really taken that much of pain to send you here, you have to repay him with loads of things. Nah, gifts won’t do the needful. One has to move on in life, one has to leave his/her depleting emotions aside and do good for others. No matter, even if no one acknowledges your random “Acts of kindness”, but it shouldn't affect your aim of doing good to others. Always remember, that in the end, IT’S NOT BETWEEN YOU AND OTHERS ITS BETWEEN YOU AND GOD.

MOONLIGHT TALK 4: Even if I didn't make much sense this time, try and understand my point :) It might just help you somewhere down the line :)

...Another spell of rain..

Keeping all the explanations aside, yeah !! Finally I'm back to the blogging world. Credit undoubtedly goes to the blogger and much more a very nice friend of mine namely Shruti :) who constantly made an effort of dropping by on facebook again and again to remind me that she is really missing reading me here :) So babes, this one goes out for you :)

So after a very long time, the monsoon finally show-cased its actually hues of affection by pouring so heavily, that one couldn't even pin-point the background due to the non-stop image being created of water droplets that were falling down continuously. The atmosphere all around, the winds blowing here and there, the clouds bearing more of rain...all simply called for a big wow. In fact, At one point of time; it became like really really tough to digest the same. But many peoples' "uncalled-for pinches and punches" were more than enough to make me believe the very same :D

After coming back home from school, and after settling everything properly in their right place; once again a burst of clouds took place and the rain climbed the peaks of everything. It was then, that my mind started playing certain "thought games" with my heart. I sat on the floor next to the door of my balcony, trying to enjoy the windy rain shower to the fullest, also time to time looking at the sky which did a good job of bearing those heavy black clouds. A thought just popped in my mind right then.....

I always saw rain as a "medium of affection", a "medium of love", a "medium of emotions". I strongly feel that God has many ways to connect the ones he should by various means, one of them being rain. No matter how far you live, no matter how lonely you feel; rain carries some of the very strong vibes which envelope one completely. No matter how long you have been separated from your beloved, the smell of rain catch holds your dying embers of trust, belief and optimism every time. If there are endless things that can turn you down, there are also things that can very well uplift you :) And rain is surely one of them. Its something that you can feel, something that you can see, something that you can hear, something that you can taste, something that you can touch, something that you can play with...something your beloved can feel as well, no matter how far you guys are from each other, no matter how deep is the feeling of "longing" in you guys...it just washes everything, it gives you a new touch, a new feeling, a new smile, a new spirit....

Even after standing so strong at this point of view of mine, there came another thought in my mind trying its level best to grab hold of my attention. Today the rain had something different. Even after all the positive hues and vibes, there was a slight touch of negativity which came into sight. It appeared as if the sky was crying, crying out very loud...on seeing the condition of all its lovers. It seemed that the sky was missing the love, the feelings, the comfort, the pride, the hopes, the beliefs and say every possible thing...

The possible explanation is..wherever there is white, there will be black as well. I am surely aware of this very basic fact of life, but why isn't the sky aware of the same? Why it seems to be so innocent that its tears make ones heart pop out? Why it cried so much today? So much that one cant witness its condition for very long? Why? Are the lovers really disappointing him? Is the present state of those relationships enough to make him shed so many tears at once?

May be the design which he once made for all the friends, all the lovers, all of those who are in any sort of relationship with someone..is some where down the line not enough to keep them together...not enough to generate some kind of warmth in the relationship...not enough to uplift the love they have for each other...not enough to shrink the atmosphere of disappointment...not enough to remove the clouds of darkness....

Don't hate me for making you read so much :D
You see..writers bhi kabhi kabhi flow mein aa jaate hain :D
Signing off..loads of love and best wishes in this rainy season :)
Yours only..
Pankhuri

..LOVE STORY REVEALED..:D:D..

How would you feel if a friend of yours gives you a missed call early in the morning and when you call him back say just after mere 15 minutes, he fails to recognize you?? ..In fact he assumes that you are someone else and starts talking randomly without even giving it a thought?? ..Some might feel amazed, some irritated, while some people might be sad, but sometimes such things should really happen in one’s life :D
Ummm….wondering why..??
Because my dear friend...sometimes the friend with whom you are talking might reveal some secrets which you never knew???
How’s that now???

...SPECIAL COVERAGE OF THE SO NOT EXPECTED PHONE CALL…

Story revolves around the following 5 people:

Blogger R :D :D
Blogger G :D :D
A guy “H” ( G’s friend)
Tushar Mangal...who is though not playing any main role in the story but since there is no one to hold the major responsibilities like printing the marriage cards and all of that…I somehow included him as well :D :D
And me of course :D :D


It’s basically a blooming love story of the two namely R and G :-)
“H” happens to be a kabaab mein haddi :D :D
And I am the head of this pagal – pan academy and also the little sister of G…not real though…but still kissi ko to shaadi karvaani hai in dono ki :D :D
To yeh zimma mainey uthaa liya hai :D :D :D...to R hua mera future jeeju :D
Tushar in sab mein meri help karega as he does in every little thing of mines :D :D

LOVE STORY REVEALED :D :D

So early in the morning, I was just sitting with a colony friend of mine at my place where suddenly my phone pops up…

“R calling “

So I picked up the phone...and I said a very flaunting “hello “…itna flaunting tha who hello ki who to fidaaa hi ho jaata meri voice par :D :D
It just came from inside…feel waala hello hota hainaa :D wohhh :D :D

But unfortunately…Mr R cut the phone…the very flaunting dreams crashed :-(

FACT 1 : All boys are the same :D :D

Chalo koi baat nai..after some time when my friend left, I gave him a call.
His caller tune was the song “ Tom’s Diner “ a song which has recently entered the favorite list of songs of first G and then R (as G made him hear the same)

EVIDENCE NUMBER 1 : People in love mostly like the same things…and they do something or the other to make the other one feel special :D :D

Coming back…Mr R was may be still sleeping mentally that he thought that I’m G and started talking randomly.

EVIDENCE NUMBER 2 : A person in love always find the other soul mate present everywhere even if she/he is not there :D :D

Since it was my first personal talk with R on phone, I thought ki who aisa hi hoyega…So I didn’t say anything thought every moment I felt that hes talking something in continuation…suddenly he goes like

- “I’m on your blog abhi”
- And im like..ohkk..thats nice
- “yeh “H” badi chummiya shummiyaan bhej raha hai “
- “ummmmmm” ohk (thinking that hoyega koi Blogger)
- And again “H” ki baatein aaye..to I’m like btw who “H” ??
- And hes like rehn dey…
- And again I was like..no I want to know..whos this H…who is sending me kisses ??
- And I said I have heard his name through G but I don’t have any friend named “H”
- he is like chuck it
- Im like ohk :-S

Then….
- When am I getting the pictures ??
- And im like..yaa you wanted to see them naa…but I was confused ki kaunsi dikhaaun..chal aajkal mein dikha dungi
- Hes like nai abhi :-S
- And im like abhi im tired..kabhi baad mein
- And he said how come you’re ready to show me the pictures???
- And im like did I say no before?
- And hes like yes
- And im like no
And hes like hang on….
And im like there is some confusion…
Hes like who are you??
And im like pankhuri????
Hes like are you sure you are not G??
And im like ya...Unfortunately my parents named me pankhuri only…and not G

And then was R ‘s nice hahahahahaha laughter

EVIDENCE NUMBER 3 : He wanted to see her pictures…..
La la la la la la la la :D :D :D

EVIDENCE NUMBER 4 : Facebook comments…pictures…status…blog updates clearly reveal the chemistry, physics and all that is in between these lovely bloggers :D :D……

FACT NUMBER 2 : Love blossoms everywhere…even in the blogging world :D :D

Mainey to clearly bol diya hai R ko…incase they are planning to marry each other ; the head of the pagal pan academy change nai hoyegi :D :D
Kyunki contract mein aisa likha hai ki agar koi bandi shaadi kar leti hai…to head usko bana dengey :D :D :D

And also..Mujhko Tushar ka ek aur role mill gaya :D :D
Jab merey kids hoyegey…to who yeh dhyaan rakheyga ki R aur G ki bacheyy merey bachon ko tang naa kareyy :D :D
Hahaahahahah..
Kyunki bachpan mein bacheyy bahut komal swaabhaav key hotey haina :D :D
To Aiseyy achi baat nai hoti :D :D
Ki Hum unka naa-jaayas faida uthaaye :D :D

And I also welcomed R to our pagal pan academy :D :D :D

And I promised him…that at the end of this exercise he will be atleast 1 Percent like me :D :D :D
And I guess…that also is too much for him…bichaara abhi sey tension mein aa gaya hai :D :D
FACT NUMBER 3 : I think they will kill me for writing all this bakwass :D :D
And infact..Specially after seeing all these relevant pictures :D :D
If you find me dead dear bloggers…Its proves that this story is cent percent real :D :D…So guys..You can’t do anything to me :D :D :D

CONCLUSION NUMBER 1 :
Never call someone in the morning when there are chances that you are sleepy..And you might say anything to anyone…and they make it quite a big issue :D :D :D
And still you cant say anything to that person...because he/she is simple the best :D :D

CONTRADICTIVE CONCLUSION:

You can call someone in the morning..Sometimes its really fun :D :D

FACT NUMBER 4 :I have recently named myself as the little messenger of god :D :D :D…and I am the best :D :D

FACT NUMBER 5 : This was total humor…actually yeh likhney key liye mujhko paisey milney waaley hain :D :D

FACT NUMBER 6 : I know kissi bhi outsider blogger ko kuch samaj nai aaya hoga :D :D....My apologies for the same :-)
I was just in my total hight spirits when I firstly talked with R…Secondly when I dreamed about this post…and thirdly when I wrote this post :D :D
So a combination of all the three got me this post :D:D

FACT NUMBER 7 : The people who will help me in this marry the blogger mission :D :D…will get special gift hampers from Tushar Mangal :D :D :D
[see..see…tushki…tera kitna bada role hai, is love story mein :D :D ]

P.S : Take everything writen in this post as a nice light joke..

it though has all the truth but it was just to get some smiles on the faces of some friends who dont smile nowadays :-) be it because of any reason...and this post is dedicated to someone who recently asked me show this side of mine in my blog.. :-))
signing off…
loads of love…
pankhuri :-))

..Todays random poetry writing..

Free Monday Tests periods for class 11th..so the school came out with an inovative poetry writing stuff to keep us busy for those 2 hrs...Me and Mehak thought we should combine our inputs..but at the end it just turned out to be something like this...see below :

The topics were

What DPS means to me?

DPS - my school, my life

It took us quite some time to actually figure out the difference between the two..and then we were at our best poetry....hahahaha..check it out...

What DPS means to me ??

By Mehak and Pankhuri

(( we said my name in such a way that it came out to be rhyming with the title ))

{{ see the poetic feel }}

A man asked me " what DPS means to me ? "

When my mind was flying like a bee...

A story I had to reveal...

About whom I want to be.....

After all,he asked me...what DPS means to me ??

It is like an ocean full of sharks,

But at the end we sing like larks..

Barking dogs seldom bite...

However a dipsite never barks ( !! )

After all,he asked me...What DPS means to me ??

DPS starts with D...

And the second letter is P...

After all, I'm a spelling bee....

And infact..he asked me,what DPS means to me ??

Its a never ending story...

Where life has been a hanky - dory.....

****bows****

****thank you****

hahahahahaha..

TO be honest..Im prepared if any of my present blog reader is willing to give up the idea of reading my blog from now on....hahahahaha.. :-))))

~pankhuri~

..A Lifeless Butterfly..

..A lifeless butterfly..
English Half-yearly Examination..And Im not at all concerned about some topics and lessons which I left..but about a butterfly....I wonder why...

I was standing with my friends..when Pooja came and tried scaring me with a butterfly..I thought it was a trick and stuff..but it took quite a time filled with arguments for me to realize that it was a real one..and it was dead now..it was in trisha's hand next I remember..teacher came...and our paper got started..she dumped it on a window pane hurridly..it was towards my seat ka side.....

I was over with my exam and stuff..very early..3 hours paper..took me 1 and a half I suppose..then my eyes turned towards the butterfly..I just didnt like the scenario..even though she was dead..bright sunlight mein exposed like that..I just felt weird..and god knows who gave me that courage..that i walked up till the teacher and asked whether I could take the butterfly or not..she said that if its alive leave her..I said shes not..and picked her up very carefully and kept it on my seat..I was horrified to see the nearby sitting students ka reactions..it took me some more time to adjust with those reactions....

I had made up my mind the very same time..to burry the butterfly somewhere..to pray during the same so that may god bless her soul..god knows what must have had happened to poor female..half of the guys and girls who know the same..specially the burying part..still think that Im mad...ok fine..if tomorrow I leave your body on the road..no one comes to claim your body..your exposed into bright sunlight..ready to be someones food..very soon..??..isnt that really the same..???..huh..?..then its painful..then its humiliating..but just because shes a butterfly..and shes dead now..you wont respect her corpse..??..she might not be your dear one..but she might be of someone..??..but now shes no more.......

I still cant forget those facial expressions..those words which were thrown on me regarding the same..mom also..gave me a nice nice nice lecture on what the hell was I up too....?!?!?
Some friends say..preserve it..infact most of them said..hardly 1 or 2 supported me..in my decision..I asked why should I and some others drive pleasure of someones death..??..who gave us that right..???..they didnt say a word...

I still have that butterfly..I just look at her..at times..and I dont know...I just get lost somewhere..in some world..

Ill bury her soon somewhere...just waiting for the right day......

But this chapter of life showed me another side of human behaviour...the inhuman behaviour..the heartless feelings....the...............

..behn..!!!!

acha..ab yeh poem likhi thi..around ek ya do saal pehley roughly..phone par spontaneous waali..seriously..and honestly..i don't know why i am posting it here..kyunki rather than serving a spoon of amusement..it might give people a feeling of embarrassment..ki aaj kal key bachey..!!..yeh sab kartey hain phone pey..!!!..hehehehehehe..!!!!

behnn..
behn,behn,behn..oh !! behn..
kaisey kartey hai..
hum inko sehnn..??
humey kitna karti,
hai woh tang..
girgit ki tareh..
pal-pal badalti,
hai rang..!!

behn,behn,behn..oh !! behn..
kaisey kartey hai..
hum inko sehnn..??
mahaan banney ki,
karti hai koshish..
kitna bhi dikha do,
inhein Krrish..lol

behn,behn,behn..oh !! behn..
kaisey kartey hai..
hum inko sehnn..??
maggi kitna bhi,
khilado inkoo..
chaahey,
bhuk lagi ho,
HUMKO..!!!!

behn,behn,behn..oh !! behn..
kaisey kartey hai..
hum inko sehnn..??
purey din chehrey par,
lagatii hai creamm..
unsey, thodi si bhi maang kya lo..
karti hai SCREAM..!!!

behn,behn,behn..oh !! behn..
kaisey kartey hai..
hum inko sehnn..??
purey din..
humsey ladtii jhagartii hai..
aur agar koi kaam aa jaaye..
to pairrr PAKADTI HAI..!!!

hehehehehehe..
sorry all the elder sisizz..
but this poem..
is specially for you..!!!
ooppzziiess..!!
heheheheh

...made for others...

Care without return,

Love without expectation.

You shall suffer-
Never mind...

All this suffering,

The thought,

That you cared and others didn't,

You showed concern,

For those who didn't bother,

And for those who did-

You cared for all.

And then when you lie,

Ready to be quiet for ever,

You shall be glad,proud,satisfied,

You showered all you could.

Rose above your pretty ego.

You were,

made for others...

why..??!!???

why does a child have to fall before he can walk?
why does the sun have to rise when you can barely close your eyes?
and why is it so tough to close your eyes when the night falls?
why do people come into your life when all you want is to be alone and enjoy the solitary bliss...
and why do they have to leave when you start loving them?
why do tears come out of your eyes when you are the happiest?
and alternatively why is it so hard to cry when you are grieving?
why do you always learn from your mistakes when you have been warned about them so many a times?
why does a journey have to end when you start enjoying it?
why does oppurtunity always have to knock on your door when you are tired of trying?
and why can i just sit down here and write this when in the end i'll have to tell my ownself that you cant truly cherish the happy moments unless you've seen the lows??